The Tiebreaker: Birds, Boards, and a Very Feisty Freshman
Look, we’re 1-1 against the Avon Eagles this season. Tonight is the tiebreaker. The rubber match. The "who actually gets to talk trash in the Chipotle line" bowl.
Let’s talk about the Eagles. They’ve got the purple, they’ve got the gold, they’ve got the "I'm definitely the main character" energy. But let’s be real about the biology: an Eagle is just a raptor that peaked in high school. They’re basically the sky’s version of a guy who still wears his varsity jacket to the grocery store. They love to glide, but gliding doesn't work when there's a Mustang trying to turn your ribs into a xylophone.
To ensure the Eagles stay at sea level, we’re starting The Fuse.
FEATURING: Anderson "The Fuse" Purtell (#4) 🧨
Anderson is 15 years old and plays hockey with the frantic, unhinged energy of a raccoon that just found a discarded espresso shot in a dumpster. He doesn't just "check" people; he introduces himself to their internal organs.
While most freshman are worried about world history projects, Anderson is out here making opposing defenders wonder if they should have taken up a safer hobby, like competitive knitting or deep-sea welding. He plays like like the opposing team reset his Netflix password. He isn't angry; he’s just "exceptionally thorough." If there’s a loose puck or a player in his way, he considers it his civic duty to provide a prompt relocation service.
If you’re an Eagle planning on a "majestic" flight tonight, good luck. Anderson provides mandatory turbulence therapy to anyone with a bird on their chest.
GAME DAY MANIFESTO:
The Vibe: High-stakes bird-grounding
The Target: Avon Eagles (Sky-Karens)
The Time: 5:40 PM
The Venue: Brunswick Auto Mart Arena
Bring a coat. It’s going to be cold, but the hits are going to be spicy. 🐴💚🦅
#MustangsHockey #TheFuse #TurbulenceTherapy







